Comprehension: The Bloated Capitalist

“You, my friend,” said Obiageli, trying on yet another pair of earrings from the table in front of her, “are a bloated capitalist”.

“A what?” said Ada with surprise in her voice. “A bloated capitalist or you soon will be”, replied Obiageli, putting the earrings she had been trying on back on the table, “and that means someone who gets rich at the expense of the majority, ” the masses”, as my sister calls them”.

                   “I’m all in favour of getting rich. But what’s she, that makes her so different?”

                   “A socialist, of course”, Obiageli replied. “She supports what she calls “state ownership of all the means of production and distribution in a planned economy“, and maybe there’s something in what she says”.

                   “My father, of course, would disagree. He takes the contrary view”, Ada replied. “When anyone declares that the state should own everything, he opposes them and asks, “What about other countries which have gone over to state ownership?” She paused.

                   “Well, what terrible things have happened to them?”

                   “They’ve started to run at a loss what used to be run at a profit”, asserted Ada triumphantly. “So I’m afraid I can’t share your sister’s opinions. Moreover, what’s wrong with my buying a few trinkets to sell to my friends and so save them the hot and tiring trip to the market? If that’s capitalism, it’s kindness too, and surely there’s no harm in my making a little pocket money for myself. Father supported the idea and even lent me a few naira to help”.

                   “Hurray! A speech on behalf of capitalism! You’ll soon have me seeing eye to eye with you”. Obiageli was teasing Ada. “But my sister would say, “Are you preying on others? Are you making an unfair profit?”

                   “But doesn’t the government ever make a profit, even an unfair profit?” retorted Ada, still serious.

                   “That’s begging the question. Socialism and capitalism are as different as chalk from cheese”.

                   “Quite true”, interrupted Ada. But Obiageli went on: “In a socialist state, the idea of profit and loss has no meaning because all the profit the government makes belongs to the people, all the people, not just a small minority”.

                   “Well, I don’t agree. It goes without saying that businesses always run either at a profit or a loss. Father is opposed to state control and I go along with him: if you do away with private enterprise, it stands to reason you kill incentive. You can’t deny that, can you?”

                   “Certainly, I can. It’s not true. Profit-making isn’t the only motive for hard work. What about working hard for your family, working hard for your community, working hard for your country and…”

                   “Now there’s something we can agree about”, interrupted Ada.

                   “What do you mean?”

                   “I mean patriotism. Both capitalists and socialists can be good patriots, can’t they?”

                   “Of course they can!”

                   “I’m with you there”.

                   “And I’m sure my father and your sister would agree wholeheartedly“, said Ada enthusiastically. “That’s what really matters, isn’t it?” Obiageli nodded and picked up a pair of earrings. “These are the ones I really want. How much is my capitalist friend going to charge me for them?”

                   “You mean your patriotic friend. They are all made in Nigeria”.